


Eyes Wide Open

by misura



Category: The Edge Series - Ilona Andrews
Genre: M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-27 01:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21384022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: "Missed me, huh?""Always," William said, his expression serious and utterly sincere.
Relationships: Declan Camarine/William Sandine
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Eyes Wide Open

_Six out of ten hostages._ It could have been worse, Declan knew, reading the report.

There had been ten hostages. In a worst-case scenario, there could have been ten dead civilians at the end of the mission. William's mission. Assigned to him when Declan just happened to be away for a family visit, spent mostly helping his mother picking out new wallpaper.

_Someone planned this._ Declan knew that he was being paranoid. Terrorist attacks happened. William was an excellent soldier, one of their best. It could have simply been a matter of bad timing. Bad luck.

The fourteen dead terrorists would probably agree. William hadn't gotten any orders to spare their lives, to leave someone alive for questioning, and so he hadn't, because that was how William's mind worked. Obey orders. Don't get emotional. Accomplish the mission.

If Declan had been there, he knew he could have saved all of the hostages, no matter what their orders would have been. Maybe, just maybe, one of the terrorists might have gotten away or lived to stand trial, but Declan knew that he would have put the hostages' lives first, because he was human, and he'd been raised to do the right thing.

William hadn't. William had only been raised to do as he was told.

"You're back."

Declan wondered what William read on his face. "Been busy while I was gone, I see."

William shrugged. "Nothing we couldn't handle. So ... was it bad?"

"Bad?" Declan echoed, a bit puzzled.

"You look unhappy," William said. "You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to," he added quickly. "But hey, if there's anything I can do to help, say the word and I'm there."

Declan tried to imagine William assisting his mother with her interior decorating. Unlikely, and yet. He wanted that for William. To have a life outside of the Legion, interests that didn't have anything to do with killing people. "Appreciate the offer, Will," he said. "Maybe another time."

William nodded, looking relieved. "Good to have you back. It wasn't the same without you."

_I know. With me there, those six hostages would still be alive._ Declan didn't blame William. He knew it wasn't William's fault. He made himself grin. "Missed me, huh?"

"Always," William said, his expression serious and utterly sincere.

Declan experienced a strange sensation in his stomach. He'd only been teasing a little, expecting William to recognize his question as such. To act like a regular human would.

Instead, William had simply told Declan how he felt. _Always._ It was flattering, of course. Declan knew that he liked William, both as a fellow-soldier and as a friend. Perhaps even one day as something more than a friend, though Declan tried not to think about that too much.

Right now, William needed a friend. Someone to look out for him. Declan intended to be that friend.

What he did not intend was to put that friendship at risk by letting William push him up against his desk and kiss him like the world was going to end in half a minute, meaning they might as well make the most of the thirty seconds they had left.

_This is a bad idea. You should stop this. Now._

And yet William was the one to step away first, breathing hard, looking -

_A very, _very_ bad idea,_ Declan told himself. He didn't think his family would mind; as long as Declan was happy, he knew they'd be happy for him, too. But William was his subordinate, a soldier under his command. _A changeling._

"You didn't say 'stop' or push me away," William said. He sounded nervous now.

Rationally, Declan knew that Hawk's was, at worst, a necessary evil. On moments like this though, he was tempted to burn the whole place down to the ground.

"That's right," he said. "I didn't."

William still looked nervous. "You also didn't tell me I could touch you."

"You've touched me plenty of times before," Declan pointed out. He tried to sound reasonable, like he didn't feel like his heart was beating loud enough for William to pick up on it.

"Not like that."

"Will," Declan said, then realized he had no idea how to go on. He _wanted_ William in his life and by his side and, yes, also in his bed.

He didn't want William to feel like he had no other choice, like his choices were limited to Declan or no one. Right now, Declan was the only person William could call a 'friend'. It would be wrong to take advantage of that.

It might be worse to drive William away simply because Declan couldn't find the right words.

"You should have pushed me away if you didn't want me to touch you," William said.

"You should maybe consider it a clue that I didn't," Declan snapped. He was more annoyed with himself than with William. It was like it had been with the hostages: William's mind didn't work like Declan's, or anyone else who wasn't a changeling.

"Maybe I wanted something a bit better than a clue." William started to look a bit angry, too, now. That was good, Declan told himself. Probably. Maybe. "Maybe I wanted you to actually say something."

"Like what?" Declan asked. " 'I love you, please let me bend you over this desk right here, right now'?"

William's eyes flashed. Declan felt his mouth go a little dry. He wondered what he would do if William really lost control of himself, if he kissed Declan again, but this time, without holding back or backing down.

Then, suddenly, William dropped his gaze and said, "It's not sturdy enough."

Declan blinked, trying to clear his head. "What?"

"Your desk," William said. "It's probably going to break if we'd try to have sex on top of it. And you need it to do your job. To write reports and stuff. We should have sex in a bed. That's more comfortable anyway."

Declan considered. They seemed to have somehow made it past the point where Declan could claim he wasn't interested in William that way, which was either good or bad, depending on how you looked at it. Declan knew that until he figured that out, he wasn't in any hurry to return to the topic of Why This is a Bad Idea. "I agree that beds are more comfortable," he said.

William waited. William was very good at waiting.

"I don't agree about my desk not being sturdy enough," Declan said, deciding that if he was going to do this, he might as well stop procrastinating. "Would you like to try and prove me wrong?"

William's eyes glazed over. "If it breaks, I'm not paying for it."

_If it breaks, I'll make sure it's been worth it,_ Declan thought, and then William kissed him again, not holding back at all this time around, and he realized that perhaps the matter of who would be bending whom over his desk had been less settled than he'd assumed it to be.


End file.
